Who links to me?

Who links to me?

February 24, 2005

Yesterday I had one of the more interesting -- and yet, at the same time, more boring -- days I've had in a while, courtesy of the Miami-Dade County Criminal Court System. Yes, that's right, my first ever jury duty experience. Any day that starts off with public transportation before 7:30 AM is not going to be that great, I can tell you that much. However, I did sort of enjoy riding the MetroRail. I rip on public transportation a lot, but you really can't beat flying over the whole of US1 in 10 minutes. I doubt the bus system has any redeeming features, though.

There is only so much I can say about sitting in a waiting room with the rest of Miami-Dade's elite. Saw part of a really crap romantic comedy called "Return to Me" that even David Duchovny couldn't save (Love David D./Fox Mulder. Don't prefer rom-coms). Being the daughter of a 5th generation attorney, I naturally asked my dad for advice before embarking on the jury duty journey. Wise father imparted this gem: bring a sweater. Could not be more glad I listened. "Arctic" doesn't even begin to describe the temperature in that building. Making the courtroom sub-zero must be some intimidation tactic because Tuff & Fearless Jill was actually a bit nervous sitting in the jury box w/4 law dawgs shooting confusing questions at me.

When we took our lunch break, I realized the max I could spend on food was $2.75 to afford the $1.25 trip home on the Rail. Sooooooooooo given that everything in courtroom cafeteria is $5.99-plus (why?), I was compelled to buy a $1.50 hot dog from one of those cart people on the corner. I have had hot dogs from these people before (I know: gross) but never have I ever had one that smelled so wrong. I took two bites & threw it away. Probably didn't help that I asked her to put onions on it. Now that I think about it, with the communication problems we were having, I may not have ordered a hot dog at all. [Must learn Spanish.] I ate "lunch" on the steps, sandwiched between the Justice Building & the Pre-Trial Holding Center (a.k.a. Jail) with a lot of pigeons & bums. It was awesome & very scenic.

In the end, I didn't get picked for jury duty. Sort of disappointing. The outcome may have had something to do with me telling that defense lawyers that I really didn't believe in the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thereom that is the crux of our judicial system. I know I risk sounding like a Communist here. But, hey, the guy looked like a child molester. What could I do? Anyway, I had to be honest, but I felt like a bad guy for saying it.

Between the crap food & the crap movie, it may sound like the day was a bust, but not so: They tell me they are going to mail me a check for $15 for my service. Really??? After all that, I feel like I should be paying them! When that check comes in, drinks are on me. Truthfully, I was glad to go to jury duty as I did learn a lot. Still, JustJill is not the forum for the bright light of my flashing intellect, but a place for me to share random, BS, off-the-top-of-my-blonde-head thoughts, thus leaving you deprived of my enlightening conclusions re: the American justice system.

Yes, I have been here for two hours and no, I have not done any work today.

(Additional update: This was my horoscope for today. I give it 5 stars: "You can convince anyone of anything under these stars as people see you as a leader. It's the perfect time to let true romantic passions have free rein." Holla.)

February 22, 2005

I decided to give the MIA a break this weekend since it was already crowded enough with the 600 festivals & bgillion tourists down here, so I jumped in the whip & traveled up the turnpike to Gainesville to visit Trey, with an added Gillespie bonus. [Side note: must buy SunPass.] Rolled in to Trey's crib on Friday night and was almost instantly handed a 40-oz bottle of "Boo Yah Death Mix" (grain alcohol, lemon-lime Gatorade & Red Bull). If this doesn't set the stage for the weekend, I don't know what does.

Never having lived in a college town in the true sense, I have been deprived of certain weekly specials that I'm sure would take another 5 years off my life. Of course, I refer to "Free Beer" at the Grog House. Two glorious words, until you insert "Natty Light" between them. Thought we'd take advantage of this free beer by doing a Power Hour...that lasted approximately 7 minutes before we decided we were "too old for this shit" and started taking shots of Patron. (My dad says our generation drinks too much. He may be right.) But I'm mentioning all this not to show you readers how W&L kids dominate the college drankin' scene, even as alums, but rather to explain how I ended up in my current state, i.e. bruised, scraped & blistered.

As we all know, after I have a little too much liquid fun, I tend to think I am some sort of superhuman cross between Carly Patterson and the Karate Kid (only much better looking). It all started on NYEve 2K4 when I thought I could front flip over a couch & ended up briefly unconscious. Since then, I have hobbled into work on a twisted ankle more than once after trying to do backflips & aerials on the beach at 3:30 in the morning.

Anyway, this time I had a partner in crime because Trey, being related and all, shares my passion for kicking ass when intoxicated a.k.a. invulnerable. So, we busted out the sparring gear & nunchakus (that I, naturally, keep in my car at all times...hey, you never know) and proceeded to have one of the most ultimate, epic fights of all time. This is the first time that blood has been drawn during one of these episodes. Trey, to his credit, did not have the slightest reservation about wailing on a girl. Gillespie was more of a gentleman, but still got his fair share of contusions.

Injury inventory: quarter-sized chunk of skin missing on sole of right foot, bruise on left hip, countless scratches on both arms, chest & forehead, skinned left elbow, bloody wound on left thumb, strange grayish-purple bruise on right palm and tender bridge of nose caused by nunchaku to the face. Whew. Trey & Gillespie convinced me that most of the damage was self-inflicted as I kept trying to deliver roundhouse kicks to Trey's head and ended up slipping on the wood floors. In any case, major ass was kicked. See pic alllllll the way at the bottom of Trey with weapons. Kind of grainy, but you get the idea. Trey is stacked, but no match for The Jill. Believe me, his injury inventory is much longer & bloodier.

Aside from all this, we watched a baseball game between UM & UF, which, sadly, the Canes lost. This is the first game I've been to on the Gators' home turf & I have to comment on their appalling cheers & songs. No spirit, guys, and questionable lyrics, too. Got back to Miami & checked out the Coconut Grove Arts Fest & hit up the beach later in the afternoon. Every single parking garage on Miami Beach (7th, 12th, 13th, 16th, 17th, etc.) was full. Of tourists. No comment. But, apparently, I could've had a spot if I had an "Access Card," whatever that may be. People who have these are the VIPs of the SoBe parking system. Anyway, I had to go to 85th & Collins. BFE, but still sunny.

Now, it's back to work. Except I can't use the mouse because my palm hurts too much. Also, A-Lo wants me to go to French Tuesday tonight at the Biltmore. Not sure if this is such a good idea because I haven't spoken French since Winter Term 2K3 & the thought of being surrounded by 50 Fabrices is not too attractive. However, the invitation promises a "Complimentary tasting of the vodkas of the world with The Cellar Club," so maybe I can handle Fabrice apres some Grey Goose Le Vanille. I am, though, a little disturbed by the dress requirement: Glamorous & Chic...?

February 15, 2005

Yesterday when my receptionist called me up to the front desk & refused to say who it was, I was a little scared, thinking it very well could be the South Miami Police again. Imagine my surprise, then, when I saw Soren with roses & candy. Too freaking cute. Of course, I turned about 17 shades of red & spent the rest of the day explaining myself to the busy-bodies that run my office. Anyway, just wanted to publicly thank Soren for being a great Valentine. Any Valentine's Day that includes Andre Extra Dry & football movies is bound to be fabulous.

In other news...spent the weekend on the beach watching Volleypalooza. Whoever came up with this idea is a complete genius. Essentially, Volleypalooza is a weekend-long event where scantily-clad models play volleyball while people hand out free stuff, most notably, beer. As for the other details of the weekend, Sera has already called me "white trash" for disclosing these, so let's just leave it at: I watched models play volleyball, I got a tan, I drank Bloody Marys. The end.

February 11, 2005

Two favorite words: Casual Friday. Also: Pay Day. Also: You're Hot. Okay, I have a lot of favorite word pairs, but today I'm focusing on the first two sets. Not even real estate lawyers irritate me on this most glorious of pay days, though they have def tried this morning.

It is so fn cold outside. I know it seems like I complain about this a lot & I don't mean to be a whiner/baby because life is good, but WHY, oh WHY, please tell me, does it get cold or rainy EVERY Friday? It's like some higher power wants to keep me translucent forever. Plus, people keep asking if I dyed my hair brown (as if), which means I really must get to the beach ASAP. I am a simple girl with simple needs: sun, water, food, martinis, sun & iPod. And sun. Not too much to ask for a spot of warm sunny-ness on a Saturday? Right. I mostly do this to piss off people in the Great White North. I hope it's working. Don't worry, I just found out I have to work on Saturday, so I couldn't really enjoy the beach anyway. Love being a Realtor.

Kind of have two jobs this weekend because, surprise, surprise, I'm house sitting again. For those of you who don't know, I am house sitter extraordinaire & am considering setting up a page here with info on my services. I will house sit for pretty much anyone, but I'm usually on a rotation of 4 houses known as: Pinecrest House (Aunt & Uncle), Depressed Dog House, Tick House (formerly known as Cute Grove House, but never again) & Paradise Villa (Suzanne's crib). This weekend, I'm hitting up the Crest. Anne Laure, I know you would love me to go into my spiel re: the pet owners, but I really can't do that here. Let's leave it at: "Spot (dog) ENJOYS three to four treats before bed time & Mr. Jangles (cat) loves to watch TV between 8:45 and 9:20." No, I am not making this up. Names have been changed. As A-Lo & I have remarked several times, of course Spot enjoys 3-4 treats before bed time. He is a dog. He will ALWAYS enjoy as many treats as he can get. Sigh. The instructions that come with the fish tanks are the most intimidating, but am a professional.

Moving on...Valentine's Day is right around the corner & my celly is OTC (off the chain -- 'nother TLA) with calls from would-be suitors. A bit overwhelming. Settle down, boys, the position has been filled. Soren, you are my Romeo for V-Day 2K5 (you asked first), so I'm telling you now, in front of everybody: there had better be some chocolate/champagne in my future. Candlelight dinner w/rose petals optional. Might be a bit awkward. Also, giving myself a V-Day present: no more smoking. Yes, as of Feb. 14 I am niccotine-free. I know you won't recognize me w/o my smoke halo, but I promise it will be an improvement on the Jill. Yes, this is possible. It will be a sad day at Parliament HQ.

Gave blood the other day (and you should, too) at the Banco de Sangre, essentially a mobile home sans bathroom & kitchen. I have had many bad experiences giving blood (hello, hematoma) but, hey, you gotta do it. On this particular day, I was not filled with confidence as during the prick test, the "nurse" could not seem to get blood out of my finger & ended up spattering blood all over me. But I mean, all over me. To the point where I had to rush home & soak my clothes after. No exaggerating. Really was not looking forward to the point where this woman had to insert a needle in my vein, but thankfully she was much more adept at this process. I guess it's easier to take my blood! when you have a needle the size of a pencil. The girl next to me, btw, was moaning & whimpering the whole time (baby), which also made me a bit nervy. I hope this story does not offend your delicate sensibilities. I don't really have any good material, so I thought this would do.

P.S. OC was great last night. Total fantasy moment for me & boys everywhere.

February 8, 2005

Two stories that really amuse me, courtesy of Local 10 News. First, thieves stole an armored truck with 3.5 million nickels, or $175,000. Police recovered 900,000 nickels ($45,000), but the driver is still missing with the remaining 2,600,000 nickles. This story raises a lot of questions for me: First, were they pissed when they realized they had just robbed a truck full of nickels, expecting gold bars? Or was this part of some genius master plan? How does one change in all these nickles to make the crime profitable? As Danny pointed out, this is very inefficient crime (the least efficient part being that they were caught, I suppose). You would probably need to spend half a million nickles just to buy enough change sorters & papers. Plus, you can't just roll into a bank and hand over 70 whatever rolls of nickles -- too obvious. To make it believeable, you should have similar amounts of pennies and dimes, and, if you're lucky, quarters. Stupid criminals. But, I bet they never get ticketed at meters, so maybe they're smarter than I think?

Other "hmm" story I heard: some lady walks in to a Hialeah restaurant and buys five lottery tickets, using the numbers on her bill from dinner. But instead of buying five tickets with different numbers, this lady buys five identical tickets. At first you think, "Silly goose, how is that going to help you?" Well, apparently, it helps if you win, like this lady did, because now instead of getting 1/3 of the pie (2 other people chose the same numbers...this always freaks me out) she gets 5/7 of the total ($4 million to her). Crazy. What are the chances? Does this lady always buy 5 tickets with the same number?

One last funny story I am not going to summarize here, but will direct you to the page: http://www.naute.com/stories/cigars.php Pretty good that Mr. Slick Lawyer didn't get the last laugh, but too bad about the 2 years in jail thing. That's kind of rough.

Updates other than those things: went camping in Key Largo on Saturday. [By camping, I mean we slept outside, ate s'mores & taunted wild animals, but I wouldn't really call it roughing it, given our proximity to Publix/K-Mart/Quiznos, the volleyball court & the indoor plumbing. Didn't get to build a fire bc "No Fires Allowed," but did get to set up tents. Forgot flashlights. Also, wandered through Publix for 35 minutes with a half-roasted, half-eaten marshmallow, complete with stick, stuck to my back. No one told me it was there. Thought it was weird when I got out of my second sticky car seat of the night & pulled a huge chunk of mallow off my back. Now my car is marshmallow flavored. Claudia's, too, I'm sure.] Open House on Sunday followed by Super Sunday festivities in Grove. Happy Mardi Gras! Today has been slow, thank goodness, & film festival tonight -- no idea what the hell I'm seeing, but my trust is in Magsie.

[Just checked miamiherald.com for more info on the nickel thieves. Turns out cops got their first lead when a Winn-Dixie employee noticed a man dumping "mounds of coins" into a change machine. See?? But even then police didn't suspect him (who are the stupid ones here?) until they raided his place for pot (unrelated incident) & found piles of nickels buried around his farm.]

February 4, 2005

Dinner was great last night: Dry Aged Steak au Poivre with Courvoisier Cream Sauce. Never had steak au poivre before & thought maybe just a little lighter on the poivre, since after two bites my mouth was flaming (put out the fire with creamed spinach). Turns out Dad does indeed know about justjill since Mom, although long since removed from the PR biz, is still spreading the publicity. He would like me to let you all know that he is not really a Peter Pan fan, even though he did view the footage of Mr. Pixyland live on Conan. Conflicting messages.

Think I may try to squeeze a bit of camping in between the work schedule this weekend. Haven't built a fire in ages and need to keep the skills honed in case of emergency, but appointments all Saturday morning and early afternoon, combined with the Sunday Open House...starting to look like it may not happen. Going to check out Ocean Drive en Espanol party tonight (guess who will stick out like a sore thumb?) & am bringing translators.

If you're bored, I suggest calling 305.666.5922. It make take you a few tries to get the right receptionist. This woman has been answering the phones in the same way since 1995, I'm told. Straight out of "Office Space."